Wednesday 6 August 2014

Fun and Sad Holidays

Success Criteria



DEEP FEATURES
Brainstorms to identify main ideas to be used in writing.
Uses most of the main ideas in the writing.
Uses paragraphs and sequences ideas.
Attempts to end writing with a simple conclusions.
SURFACE FEATURES
Spells most words correctly.
Uses capital letters, full stops, commas, apostrophes, question marks, exclamation marks.
THE REWORKER / EDITOR
Rereads writing to edit out information that does not improve the message.
Rereads writing to edit in words and phrases that improve the message.
Uses a dictionary to identify and check spelling attempts.
Checks writing for basic punctuation.


I did so much in the holiday’s. It was great.

First in the holidays I went out to play with Summer our dog. But she wasn't there. I yelled out “Come here Summer. Where are you?” but my dad got a call from the pound that they caught her and we have to pay $300 to get her back. I asked dad and he brought her back. As soon when we put her on her chain she ran off again. This time we had to pay them $200 to get her back and we didn't get her back!

The next day my dad told me “It’s time to take your dog Tyren for a walk.” I said “Yes”. Then I took my dog for a walk in the reserve round our house. Tyren made a few new friends. All three of them were girls. “Now we have to go home” and we did.

“Yay now it is time to play on my xbox.” but I remembered that my dad bought me a game called “Plants Vs Zombies Garden Warfare.” You can be a “Pea Shooter Chomper Sunflower Cactus” and on the zombie’s side you can be a “Footsoldier All-star Scientist and Engineer”. You can buy some packs with a piece of a character in it or a whole character in the game.          

1 comment:

  1. Dear Jamie I liked the way you put full stops and capital letters
    and I or so like the way you put some of the main ides in your writing.
    Next time you could put a conclusion.
    How did you do all that writing in 3 weeks.
    from Holly

    ReplyDelete